It's been forever...

So many emotions going through my head these last few weeks. Excitement. Anticipation. Eagerness. Sleeplessness. Sleepiness. Frustration. Exasperation. Joy. Freedom. Imprisonment.... yeah there's a list:)

I started student teaching on the 11th of August. It has been a BLAST so far! I went the first week before school started and was able to help out the teacher as well as figure out what kinds of things she likes to do and the way she'll run her class this year. she and i could have been long lost twins! We both love organizing and having places for everything and doing things specific ways. I couldn't have asked for a better first 9 week cooperating teacher:)

The rest of my life has had ups and downs, but it's been going alright. BIBL is finished and I think I might have gotten an A:) Someone that I sort of work with isn't that cooperative right now, so it's tough to grin and bear it. I turn 22 this week. Life's fun:-P

Something hard that's keeping me from working on my lesson planning tonight is someone related to me. I learned something about that person last night that changed that person's view in my life forever until something changes about her. This person I have known all her life, but only really gotten to talk with and love and share with as a sister since she was 11. We discussed about why we wanted to do things with our lives, like stay pure and wait for that special guy and dating no-nos, etc. Some might already see where this is going.
.....She got married earlier this year to a guy she's been housed with for a while. I didn't believe that this girl would do anything WRONG, so I accepted it. I didn't talk to her very much at all once she moved in, but I did know she was happily engaged when it happened and it was his family as well as him, so I was calmed.
.....Wedding came later this year. I was shocked because 1) i couldn't make it thanks to school, 2) i got a general invite for my family and no warning email/phone calls from her, 3) she said before that they'd prolly wait till spring '09.
.....Today, I learn the reason for this updated wedding date....and I feel broken. I feel that I'm a liar and at fault for defending someone that DID do things that I swore she wouldn't do. That her morals wouldn't allow her to do such things, that her actions would be NOTHING like what I heard. The part of my life where I kept her a dear friend is shattering, and there's nothing I can do about it.
.....I haven't heard from her at all. I haven't sent out an email either, which is completely my fault, but she tended to keep me in the loop of things in her life because we live 10+ hours away from each other. I just feel hurt and can't get rid of the pain.

And now I must close. At least for now. One because I need to finish writing a math lesson including my manipulatives. Two because I am a hall monitor for student athletes still and I can't let anyone see me cry....