Amazing God

So last night was an unexpected conversation...at least to me and the other person. God was up in heaven smiling because He planned the whole thing....before we existed probably, to top it off! It was really...refreshing to catch up, to discuss, and to feel out where God is putting us on this earth. I pray that this communication continues!!

After I got off the phone with this person, and with my friend Josh, and my friend Fitz, I put my grading away and opened my Bible. The words "Psalm 139" stuck in my head, so I turned to that. Lo and behold, the verses that I had been looking for! Oh, I cannot explain how much meaning it had to me, how hard I cried when I found these verses. Read God's word and see why:

Psalm 139
For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.

3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.

5 You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.

9 If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,

10 Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"

12 Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand
When I awake, I am still with You.

19 O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.

20 For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.

21 Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?

22 I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

Isn't that just amazing? My goal, once I'm moved into Mrs. O's place and have my paints again, is to make some kind of plaque/wall hanging/item that has a few of these verses on it. This is something I need to be reminded of daily. Those who have talked to me know why. I read them again this morning....what a breath of fresh air! I could literally feel myself crying again and nearly giggling reading these...knowing that the God of this universe took the time to write this down and took the time to give me this moment to read it. What an awesome God we serve!

Week 2

The end of another week at my parents' house has completed. Time seems to go by fast for the most part. Dad flew to Vermont to do maple sugaring with my grandparents (jealous!!), and it's very weird not seeing him around the house.

Sean and I went to Venture on Sunday. It was still weird not hearing Bryan or Kyle speak (they've been at other churches for nearly 3 years now.....), but Danny was very knowledgeable in what he talked about. I got to see some old friends and introduce them to Sean. People like Suzanne, Dustin, Zac, Nichole....it felt good to see friendly faces at church again! I'm hoping to talk to the ladies sometime about getting involved in a Bible Study again!

I finally got an email from Fx Co Public Schools about subbing!! I spent the rest of the week checking off everything I needed to have for my orientation meeting (whenever I schedule that one). I had a lovely chest X-ray done (Mom lovingly reminded me that I'll have to do this every year now....marvelous!) and got the results back within 2 days. I copied everything necessary that I had in my portfolio already.

And....

My Certificate of Teacher Licensure just came in the mail!! Whooot! :D I've been waiting for this puppy for months! I'm SO glad I have it now so I can actually put on my applications that "YES!" my license is here!

I went with my Mom to her Bible Study group. It was a little awkward, since she didn't warn me about anything we were going to do. Thankfully she had me put in a group other than hers - easier to share that way! I had a great group of ladies, very challenging to look at the Scriptures again! Oh how I've missed that! The only hard time I had was singing from hymnals and that no one in my group is less than 15 years older than me, except maybe one mom? I'm hoping to go again, but we'll see if I can't find another place to go?

I babysat twice this week. Pulled a/some muscle(s) in my back doing one of them. Thankfully I have a mother that collects drugs and after getting home from babysitting, she gave me 4 Tylenol, 2 Advil, and a heat pack and sent me to bed. In the morning, almost brand new! (Then of course this morning I had to unravel all that love by working in the toddler nursery at church this morning...ouch!)

I have determined I have too much on my mind. I get ideas and theories about things and have a hard time putting them into words. My life is changing around me, there's nothing I can do to stop it, I just have to get in the boat and paddle along with the rest of the world.

Right now, I'm confused about how my mom fits into my life. Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces, but there are things she says and does that hurt, and trying to explain doesn't work out as planned...ever. I was thinking this morning about my wedding (whenever that blessed date is!), and I realized my mom never told me she was truly happy for Sean and I. She thinks very logically, which is nice at times, but I can't think of any times when she has told me she's truly happy for me. Whenever I try to bring up wedding ideas, she always comes back to the fact that Sean and I still need full time jobs, and that we better not be getting married anytime soon. It really hurts, because as much as I didn't plan my wedding as a child, I still want to be able to look at wedding stuff with my mom and make plans. It wouldn't even matter if I didn't use a single plan we talked about, just to know my mom is supportive of Sean and my wedding and marriage. Is that silly of me?

I honestly just pray right now for a job, an apartment, and a wedding :P I know it sounds silly, but I can't wait to be Sean's wife. I want to be able to cherish all our days together and be there to support him for the rest of our lives.

On that note, I need to go wake my love:) He has a HUGE project due at work tomorrow, and he's taking a nap before he probably pulls an all nighter!