Be Proud?

So, I am officially graduated. I have paid off the school for what I owe. May will bring SallieMae payments. I sent in 3-4 cover letters and resumes since I graduated. The 5th cover letter and resume got me my first job!!!! Let me break it down, because only God would have let this happen:)

I determined that as much as I want to teach and get all the benefits that come with it, God has not put that job near me at the moment. I have checked Bedford County, Lynchburg City, and Amherst County (where I student taught) consistently every day for a month. Nothing:P I also determined that as much as I want to teach, I don't want to take over someone else's classroom starting halfway through the new year. I know that I'd be fine eventually, but not having time to prepare, like the week before school starts, and trying to come up with discipline charts, getting to know the students, reviewing everything they know, etc, is tough! I chose to start looking at jobs that are close to my major, but not exactly.

So, I, like any normal college grad of Liberty, got an application for Barnes and Noble (across the street from school)to fill out. And downloaded one for Michaels. I filled them both out but didn't get over to bring them to the stores. I decided to check out daycares, since I loved working at the Butterfly House back home with "Miss Mary Kate!!" (aka Rabbit :) ). There are a few near me, but one that I've passed by almost daily caught my eye. I decided that even though it didn't say anything at all about employment on their website, I would try to apply there.

I fixed my resume up nicely and added a cover letter, emphasizing my previous work with the Butterfly House Daycare and working with a variety of special need children. I was going to mail it, but I decided I would do it later. The next day, I determined that I would stop and bring the papers in - my place is seriously about 5 minutes from it, so it would have been ridiculous;) I got there just before 10am, asked the secretary about possible job openings, and she gave me an application to fill out while I waited for the director! I got to meet the director - nice lady of course:) - and talked with her about my experience with different ages. She took the application as well as my resume and cover letter and said she'd call if they could use me.

Well....around 4pm that day, she called!!! I will be making just above minimum wage - less than I've made in either of my old jobs, but I will take it! The director is going to let me start on MONDAY:) I'll be working with infants and toddlers - *sigh* be still my heart! After a few weeks, she said she could use me as a 3-year-old teacher because the current one is moving soon:) Amaaaaazing:D I was so excited I'm surprised I didn't scream in her ear! As stated before, the pay is not too great, but the work is worth it!

Unfortunately, like many tales, this one has an "ish to sad" ending. I called my mom to let her know about it. (I think this is the part where I screamed.) Anyway, she was very quiet and I joked, saying something like "your silence is very reassuring" (Monster's Inc?). She kind of joked back, but then told me I'm worth much more than what they'll be paying me and that I should be looking for a better job.

That. hurt. a lot. I felt so much rejection, even if it wasn't intentional (which I'm sure it wasn't). My goal after I graduated was to get a job that 1) I loved and 2) would let me start my climb of independence. No the pay won't be as much as I've made before, but I don't mind. I get to work with kids. I get to help them learn about the world around them, see their smiles, wipe away their tears (and boogers). That's why I wanted to be a teacher. I see this as a step. I won't let anyone steal my joy about this moment in my life.

....then why can't I see the monitor through my blurry tears?